The Queen Visits LMM Director For Royal Wedding Entertainment
We were honoured to have been visited yesterday by Her Majesty The Queen in a surprise visit to discuss the possibility of hiring one of our top quality bands and a DJ for Prince William and Kate Middletons wedding.
The first we knew of her intentions was a strange phone call from a “Mr X” who asked us a number of security based questions about fire exits,proximity of the toilets and whether we would be able to provide a water bowl for a small dog.
Later in the day “Mr X” arrived in a smart navy suit ,with a suspicious gun shaped bulge around the chest area, flanked by a man in shades talking on a walkie talkie.
Then in walked the Queen looking radiant in a fuschia top coat and ivory silk twin set.
She was not one for small talk and wanted to get straight down to business.
Apparently the Royal Family,or “Firm” as they call themselves,had made a grave error in leaving the entertainment arrangements to Prince Harry and it was only two days ago, when the young Prince realised that his first choice wedding singer “Tupac Shakur” had been dead for more than a decade ,that the Queen decided to step in.
Although a stickler for tradition the Queen did not want to leave the entertainment booking to the “Middletons” as she suspected there was something of the “cruise ship” about that them and she dreaded the thought of “that awful Jane McDonald” crooning “Wind Beneath My Wings” at the reception.
The Queen had clear directions for the LMM team.
Prince Charles has always liked a bit of soul music.He was very fond of the Three Degrees in the wild days of his youth.
Prince Harry,Princess Bea and the other one are all a bit drum n bass.
Prince William and Kate are secret James Blunt fans although when they are out they like to gyrate to that “hippety-hop music.”
The Queen was very clear that LMM should avoid taking any advice from Royal Wedding guests the Beckhams re music for the Wedding.She seemed particularly cross that they had beaten the Royal Family to the first “Hello style” wedding back in 1999.
Apparently the Queen loved all that bling and felt she had the monopoly on over the top wedding carriages and white suits until the Beckhams rebranded themselves as “the peoples King and Queen.”
A decade on from the Beckhams big day it has all been a bit “done to death” and the Queen has a real fear of a ”My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding day” on April 29.She promised the Royal Wedding would be a simple affair in comparison.
We felt that the Queen should book one of our great funky party bands and suggested she have a browse through the Funk Soul Disco section of the LMM website.It was also an idea that she book one of our top quality mobile DJs although we did offer her the facility to play an Ipod through the bands PA system if she wanted to cut costs.
She seemed very happy with our suggestions and began her “negotiations.”
Apparently for a hefty discount we might be looking at an MBE/OBE or even a Lordship in the New Years Honours List.
She could certainly sort it for us to have “By Royal Appointment” over the door “ as early as next week.”
We were flattered and thrilled by her visit but with value for money offers on all our live bands and DJs we were unable to offer her any greater discount than our “common” clients and with that she picked up her handbag and corgi and left in a huff.
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